[24 Oct 2004|03:49pm] forget this mind, forget being changed. lose the thoughts, lose sight of thinking deranged. ahh she cried, so soft he wispered it be ok. blind to see that it would be, could be. not any more, thats for sure. thats the truth about the boy that had water falls for eyes. eff this world, eff every comprimise. hes going to be happy. and happier. and in the end. its with out her. and her. and her. and her. and her. love is just a 4 letter word. dont over-rate it. Its over-rating us. Just when you get comfortable... you get. -ill 1trying to stay awake - without you

dislocated [20 Oct 2004|12:53pm] Feeling better is an understatement I do not feel superior about anything, nor does anyone feel for me Or feel what I feel. My arms are short, but why can’t I reach what I want!!! Why can’t I feel what I need to? To change this entry from a dire one to a fine one. Im just so afraid and so scared of what I am right now. I use to be so happy, so amazing, but I can’t see that person anymore. Would it be too much to ask if I cannot be lied to for at least a week? Or impaired. Seems I’m asking too much. Lets rhyme. If I could take back what I said, what I did, I’d be fine. Blistering thoughts just rewind how I felt The great, the terrible neither bothered me I had you, I had us, I had everything to be happy Another story of apologies, no carination here. We are unlike in many ways, and the ways I most feared. You don’t want to say the real reason for what has become The nights you think of me and wish I still was your one. I thought I figured you out, I thought I could be better Seems that one week of the hurricane cemented us not being together. If I could rewind I would, if I could change I would, but would you? That you would, that you could if you had me support you. Every guy can say your beautiful and your so amazing But those are just words to you now, you once held all that was true Because when I said it I didn’t use words, it was all up to you. I guess im just less, less of a person, less of a love. You have my worst nightmare. The better person than I. The one that I always said I thought you wanted me to be, seems I was right I’m sick of sobbing over someone so great at being painful to me. But I thank her. For I wish I could make this and I know I could make this An entry to win her back. But I’m not going to. I’m speaking on my behalf to all of you. How ive been feeling with out telling what’s been really happening Sadly this entry has to end and it’s ending with me being hurt by my best friend. That’s all we can ever be. And we both know that’s not what we want. She’s already found a companion, someone to replace bodies with. And words with. Those words she says to him use to be said to me, and those things they do We did. We started that; we made up all of what you repeat now. That I regret. -ill -I have an incurable disease- <3 the show was horrible. You know why. without you

behind all your lies [12 Sep 2004|03:23am] [ mood | hearts mass mangled ] [ music | keys, typing ] It’s been more than I thought… Could someone really posses that power? Frustration glowing farther than lids can spread. To view… The life the boy always wanted. He would brag about a girl. Have a hand to hold and a heart to love. Dreams stopped about dreaming of perfection. Because!!! He had it. Now the only thing he can hold onto is his real love. Its only an innate object followed by injuries and motivational speeches. I think she’s lost sight… Of whom she made, of what her decisions created such a different person. But was it really her words that made this boy change? I think he had it in him all along it was just a matter of someone opening the door. But as she says. She did change something in his life ;-) And to that he regrets… Goodnight to you, goodnight to him. He loves you. And he knows what it means. -ill without you

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